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This Joke Is the Funniest One-Liner of 2017
This Joke
Is the Funniest
One-Liner of 2017
IN CASE YOU MISSED IT
Aug 27, 2017 2:02 PM CDT

This Joke Is the Funniest One-Liner of 2017

According to 'Dave's Funniest Joke of the Fringe'

(Newser) - If you haven't heard of Scotland's Edinburgh Fringe Festival, you may be part of the minority. The New York Times reports the arts festival is the largest "in the known world," with its organizers boasting that only the Olympics and World Cup have a bigger attendance....

Cop After Deadly Car Crash in Va.: 'Hahahaha love this'

Massachusetts officer under investigation for what he calls 'stupid comment'

(Newser) - A police officer far removed from the weekend violence in Virginia faces disciplinary action because of it. That's because Conrad Lariviere, a cop from Springfield, Mass., made what even he admits is a "stupid comment" online about Saturday's fatal car crash , reports MassLive . "Hahahaha love this,...

This Photo Prompted One of Ted Cruz's Best Jokes Ever

It involves Chuck Schumer, Ben Sasse, and ... male rompers

(Newser) - A caption contest on Twitter this week ended up pulling in Ted Cruz, Chuck Schumer, and a romper for men that's inexplicably all the rage. Mashable reports on a photo tweeted out Thursday by the Washington Free Beacon that showed a somewhat disheveled-looking Schumer chatting with Nebraska Sen. Ben...

'You're Kidding!': Russian Minister on Comey Firing

Sergey Lavrov seemed to react sarcastically to Comey question at DC presser

(Newser) - US News says he "appeared to get irritated," while Politico and NBC note he was being sarcastic, but if Russian Foreign Minister Sergey Lavrov didn't know about President Trump firing FBI Director James Comey before Wednesday morning's presser at the State Department, he does now....

Senator Sorry for Joking About Mammograms

Pence tweets photo of all-male discussion

(Newser) - A Republican senator has apologized for joking about mammograms while discussing changes to the GOP's ObamaCare replacement bill. The controversy began after TPM reporter Alice Ollstein tweeted that when she asked Sen. Pat Roberts of Kansas about attempts to roll back the "essential health benefits" rule that requires...

A Tragic Attack, a Dead Man&#39;s Mockery
A Tragic Attack,
a Dead Man's
Mockery
LONGFORM
Feb 9, 2017 1:03 AM CST

A Tragic Attack, a Dead Man's Mockery

Tommie Woodward allegedly said 'F--- that gator!' before gator killed him

(Newser) - Tommie Woodward gained fame in his death on a July night nearly two years ago, and his family has been trying to keep people from laughing about his demise ever since. Thomas Golianopoulos writes for BuzzFeed about the tragic end to the 28-year-old's life when he jumped into a...

Sarah Silverman: The DNC Said 'No' to One Joke

She acknowledges she can be a bit 'obnoxious'

(Newser) - Sarah Silverman drew one of the biggest cheers of Monday night at the Democratic National Convention when she told Bernie Sanders diehards they were "being ridiculous." But there was one line the Democratic National Committee informed the comedian she couldn't deliver during her speech, she tells the...

Takei, Other Asian Academy Members Blast Oscars' Asian Jokes

Letter to Academy calls skits on awards show 'tasteless and offensive'

(Newser) - The child actors who were part of a joke about Asians on Oscars night seem unperturbed by the ensuing controversy, but more than two dozen members of the Academy of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences who are of Asian descent feel otherwise. Per the Hollywood Reporter , 25 members—including director...

Oscars Kid Unfazed by Asian Joke, Mom Not So Much

'This was not OK and should never have happened'

(Newser) - Little Estie Kung has never seen Chris Rock's work (not even Madagascar) and doesn't quite understand the ins and outs of child labor. So when the 8-year-old child actor and chef (she's competed on FYI's Man vs. Child: Chef Showdown) became the center of a controversy...

Why Parents Should Put a Toy Chicken on Their Heads

Kids can learn the difference between joking and pretending by 16 months

(Newser) - Parents who joke and pretend with their toddlers are doing more than just play, they're teaching them important life skills, researchers from the University of Sheffield report in a new study in Cognitive Science . In fact kids as young as 16 months use cues from their parents to pick...

Skeleton 'Tea Party' Found in Colorado River

Thankfully the skeletons are plastic

(Newser) - A man snorkeling in the Colorado River received quite the fright on Monday when he spotted what he thought were human remains about 40 feet below the surface near the Arizona-California border. With a little investigating, however, a diver with the Buckskin Fire Department uncovered a scene much more comical...

Cosby Jokes About Rape Allegations

Tells woman in audience to be careful about drinking around him

(Newser) - Not only is Bill Cosby performing comedy again despite the ever-growing rape allegations against him, he's cracking jokes about them. At a show last night in Ontario, Canada, Cosby got into an ad-libbed back-and-forth with a woman who stood up during the performance, reports the National Post . When he...

Airport Bomb Joke Costs Surgeon $89K

Five airlines shut down operations in Miami

(Newser) - It might be the most expensive failed joke ever: A neurosurgeon has to pay more than $89,000 because he thought it would be funny to tell a ticket agent at Miami International Airport that he had explosives in his bag, reports Local10 . Most of the money will go to...

Jokesters Erect England-Scotland Border Station

Makers aim to add 'a bit of a joke' to independence debate

(Newser) - The vote for Scottish independence isn't until Thursday, but travel between England and Scotland already requires a passport. That is, if you fall for a joke border control station that a photographer erected with some English and Scottish friends. An official-looking sign on a highway reads "Scottish Border...

Gary Johnson's Big Joke Keeps Getting Older

'Shovel-ready' line has been on bumper stickers since 2009

(Newser) - He still gets points for delivery, but Gary Johnson's well-received joke at last night's debate—"My neighbor's two dogs have created more shovel-ready jobs than this president"—goes back even further than thought, notes Daily Intel . For starters, Rush Limbaugh used it before the debate...

Dalai Lama Pizza Joke Goes Splat

Punchline met by sound of one hand clapping

(Newser) - A goofy Aussie news anchor did not find eternal satisfaction when his lame pizza joke fell flat with a confused Dalai Lama. "So the Dalai Lama walks into a pizza shop," begins anchor Karl Stevanovic (confused look from Dalai Lama, who turns to his translator for clarification). "...

Glenn Beck to MSNBC: Bend Over

Host gets in dig at the competition's 'lean forward' slogan

(Newser) - The right has been having a field day with MSNBC's new "Lean Forward" campaign, but Glenn Beck got in perhaps the best dig on it yet on his radio show. "By the way, MSNBC, why don't you just make your slogan 'Bend Over?'" he teased, in this clip...

Jones Puts Foot in Mouth With Jewish Joke

National security adviser draws fire from conservatives

(Newser) - Jim Jones gave a major speech at a top Middle East think tank last week, but the information he imparted has been drowned out by the kerfluffle over the joke he opened his remarks with—in which a Jewish merchant fleeces a thirsty Taliban fighter. It's tame stuff, and the...

Duluth One-Ups Topeka in Google Wars
 Duluth One-Ups Topeka 
 in Google Wars 
meet 'Googlette'
Mar 4, 2010 10:17 AM CST

Duluth One-Ups Topeka in Google Wars

Minnesota town jokes it will name first-borns 'Google' or 'Googlette'

(Newser) - From this day forth, all-first born children of Duluth, Minnesota, shall be named Google or Googlette Fiber. Well, that’s not true, but the city has produced a parody video saying so in a rejoinder to Topeka. That city changed its name to Google in an effort to secure the...

The Worst Pop Music Puns
 The Worst Pop Music Puns 
Dec 2, 2009 9:17 PM CST

The Worst Pop Music Puns

When humor and music don't harmonize

(Newser) - Hate puns? Consider this stinker from Robbie Williams' latest record: "What's so great about the great depression/Is it a blast for you?/Because it's blas-phe-my." Ouch. Puns are uniformly terrible in pop and rock. NME cobbles together some of the worst pun song titles:
  • Salt N Pepa: "A
...

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