Sorry, Boys: The Thong Is Dead

The G-string has finally, truly peaked—and the end of the intrusive undergarment's reign merited a spread declaring the death of the thong in that bible of women’s magazines, Cosmopolitan. “The glory days of that skimpy, silky triangle of fabric—coveted by exhibitionists, praised by poets (well, Sisqo anyway)—has come to an end,” writes Sarah Hepola for Salon. “RIP, the thong. That thong-thuh-thong-thong-thong.”

Though the thong was ostensibly a women’s undergarment, the people truly affected by its demise are, of course, straight men. Hepola found some predictable responses, from “I love women’s asses” to “Women should wear as little as possible.” Other men, however, were just as disillusioned with the endless parade of Britney Spears “whale tails” and paparazzi upskirt shots as many women are. Thongs are, after all, “nearly as subtle as a dick in a jar.”
(More thong stories.)