Cops: 70-Year-Old Robs Bank to Get Out of Living With Wife

Home life not going so well? Just rob a bank and get yourself relocated to jail. That's what a 70-year-old Kansas man allegedly did Friday, the Kansas City Star reports. Police say Lawrence John Ripple walked into Kansas City's Bank of Labor and gave the teller a note reading, "I have a gun, give me money." But after getting almost $3,000 from the teller, police say, Ripple sat down in the bank lobby and told a bank security guard, "I'm the guy you're looking for." The guard took the money and held Ripple there until police arrived. Later, while being questioned, Ripple allegedly explained to investigators that he'd had a fight with his wife and that he "no longer wanted to be in that situation."

"Ripple wrote out his demand note in front of his wife … and told her he’d rather be in jail than at home," an FBI agent wrote in an affidavit. Ripple was charged with bank robbery in court Tuesday, the AP reports. He was initially taken to the Wyandotte County Detention Center, but the Washington Post reports that a judge hindered his grand scheme on Wednesday by releasing him on his own recognizance. (This attempted bank robbery couldn't have gone much worse.)