Misguided Meth Lab: 5 Craziest Crimes of the Week

A deep-fried flub and elderly bank robbers factor into the weirdest crime stories of the week:

• Sex Attacker Went After a Woman—but She's a Kickboxer: An unnamed British woman was walking home around 2am one night in August when Mark Willis suddenly jumped out, pushed her over a garden wall, and climbed on top of her. "Be quiet and do as I tell you and you won't get hurt" were Willis' words to her, she recently told the Gloucester Crown Court. But his would-be victim—who'd been taking kickboxing lessons for two years—didn't comply.
• Not Every Teacher Is Cut Out to Be Walter White: Lori Whitley, 38, and her husband Gary Whitley, 41, have been charged with running a meth lab inside their home in Zebulon, NC. That may sound like your run-of-the-mill drug crime, until you take into account that Lori is a third-grade teacher. At least their alleged activities took place far away from any actual kids, right? Well, about that...

• 'Old-School' Heist Suspects Are Pretty ... Old: When a huge amount of cash and gems was stolen from a secure vault in London over Easter weekend, the daring theft was described as an "old-school heist"—and just how old school is now apparent. A 76-year-old man and his 50-year-old son were among nine people arrested in 12 raids involving hundreds of police officers. But some previous police moves in the case have the authorities being compared to Keystone Kops.
• Alleged Thief Receives Surprise Inside Stolen News Van: A California teen who spotted an idling van in front of Oakland City Hall couldn't resist the temptation to jump into the driver's seat and try to steal it, police say. The problem is that the unmarked vehicle happened to be a KPIX news van—and something happened to be inside it. Or, should we say, someone.
• Cops Follow Not-So-Subtle Trail Right to Suspect's Home: It didn't take Columbo. Cops say two men in Chickasha, Okla., stole about $4,000 worth of goods from a neighbor, including a deep fryer, but they (the cops, not the suspects) caught a lucky break, and now Steven McCarthey and William Bitsche face burglary charges.

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