All that forgive and forget stuff? Bad for marriage, apparently, which thrives on a good argument once in a while. The "short-term discomfort of an angry but honest conversation" helps a marriage in the long run, says University of Tennessee Associate Professor James McNulty, who conducted several studies on the subject. "Thoughts and behaviors presumed to be associated with better well-being lead to worse well-being among some people."
McNulty's findings are complicated by the frequency and severity of a partner's offense, and the agreeableness of the people involved. "Believing a partner is forgiving leads agreeable people to be less likely to offend that partner and disagreeable people to be more likely to offend that partner, " he tells the Daily Mail. There's no "magic bullet," he admits, but "people may experience long-term benefits by temporarily withholding forgiveness and expressing anger." (More marriage stories.)
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